The Complexity of Motherhood
Becoming a mother is one of the most complex roles I have ever been blessed to embody. My heart has swelled with love and almost irrational joy as I’ve watched my daughters grow the past six months. It seems that time itself is even more blessed with all the things we’ve done since the baby arrived. But the complexity lies in that with motherhood comes unimaginable joy as well as great responsibility - one I do not take lightly. Motherhood is the greatest gift but it can also be the toughest challenge, and it is as much rewarding as it is exhausting. We sometimes face isolation even when surrounded by the family we’re building. Sleepless nights and long hours month after month just trying to get one good night’s rest can get lonely. But every day we get a new burst of energy because watching our precious children grow is, even with every difficulty it entails, incredibly exciting.
My mother raised 10 children without ever hiring help - not a single babysitter, nanny, maid, nor cook. Since she is my glowing example of what a mother is, I felt that I should be able to do so too, especially with less kids. After having my third daughter recently, I wanted to actively ensure that I was talking care of my emotional and mental health before that dreadful feeling of overwhelm.
“Taking Care of Yourself Is Part of Taking Care of Your Kids”
I deserve help, and so do you. Momma, you’re far from perfect, but you’re right where you’re supposed to be. God chose you to do the greatest job on earth, and you’re amazing at what you do.
Love,
Hakeemah
Having a third child is changing alot for me. I have felt defeated in the past by admitting I need extra help. But it’s not shameful, and we are not defeated when we seek help. It should take a village to raise a child. We don’t need to do it all on our own. After years to denying myself the help, I hired my first employee at CMB Styling, who has helped tremendously with keeping on task with my brand. I recently hired someone to come clean my house as well! And girl let me tell you - she will be coming over alot more often. The burden she relieved me of when I walked through my house knowing that the kitchen was clean, the laundry was all done and put away (!), and the kids’ bedroom was clean was priceless. We’re also having a lot more take out meals because I’ve skipped cooking dinner so many nights I can’t count. What a tremendous load off! nd I’ve also started sending the kids to Sunday school to learn Arabic and Islamic Studies even though I thought I could teach them myself. Seeking the help I need used to make me feel guilty that I couldn’t continue to keep up everything. But allowing myself some grace to give these responsibilities to someone else is freeing.
